The sky is still here
by Shieglr
Summary: Previously one-shot, split into two chapters, Naruto's a Jounin here. [second chap songfic] [slight KakaNaru - ShounenAi] 'He understood me and I understood him. And we would stand there, together, till the sky fades away.'
1. The day isn't over

Prologue – The day isn't over

Summary – Naruto's feeling down and he needs someone to protect him from himself.

Author notes – that Naruto does not belong to her and that she does not make any economic benefit from this fanfic.

Author's notes – It's a relatively cliché idea, noted, but I thought that it would be interesting to put it in such a way that he hated the pain that other's were facing, instead of his own pain. Hope it's not too bad. First Naruto fanfic. You might also want to note that in the other chapter, it's slight KakaNaru.

---

It was one of those days, he noticed, when you felt that everything was going to go wrong. When he could feel the burden of the hate, which he normally ignored, upon his mind. When he wanted to explode because of the pain that others were experiencing, although not for him, but because he could not help. When he could sense that his body just wanted to run away and hide, and avoid trying to put up with the taunting. When he could, no, would have simply broken down and cried, to try to comfort himself, to delude himself once more. Yes, Naruto noticed that it was one of those days.

It would happen every so often, once in a while, he would feel like that. Down. He would have tried to bravely put on a front and told Iruka-sensei that he was fine, thank you for asking, nope, he wasn't feeling sad or having a fever, and would then promptly ask Iruka-sensei to eat ramen with him, just as an afterthought, to fool his sensei. All the while with a smile plastered on his face. Man, he was good, could you believe that he hadn't gotten lock-jaw even once with all that incessant smiling and grinning. Nope, he didn't think you would.

Today, he didn't have to. Iruka-sensei was out of Konoha, presumably somewhere in wave country for a mission of sorts. He felt slightly less secure, by that fact. Iruka-sensei was the only person he could turn to at times like these. He may not have known Naruto's pain, but he was still there for him. And today, he wasn't around.

Naruto sat down in a random tree, just watching, too distracted by his own thoughts to be loud and cheery like he usually was. He sniffed softly, eyes narrowed and sad. He hated it, hated how he could not help others they all could help him. He cared deeply for others, but he couldn't do anything for them, not at all.

Naruto was bothered by that. The old Baa-san, Tsunade, was being unusually snappy, and each day, she seemed to get older and older, her face more weary. Naruto could see the pressure she was under, to have to keep the village safe, and he worried for her. Secondly, he had known that many of the villagers hated him, for he was the one who contained the Kyuubi, but now, some had even started to ignore and spite Iruka-sensei for being nice to him, the first person to really care for him. Through all this, he was losing faith in himself.

Naturally, that unnerved him. His faith and urge to become the Rokudaime, future Hokage, was the one unfailing driving force behind his constant training and improvement. But, of late, he felt unmotivated and felt inertia overcoming his willpower. At times, he would just sit there and not move, staring dazedly at the door, not caring if he was wasting time.

He closed his eyes and let out a small sigh of discontent with himself, allowing a small tear to make its journey down his cheek, unseen. Naruto wanted a hug, as ridiculous as it may seem. He wanted someone to protect him, to comfort him and hide him from all his fears and worries. But there was no one, not now, just when he needed it.

Naruto did not know how long he had sat there, and did not care, did not bother to care. He just...sat. After a while, he finally noted that it wasn't a very good place to sit, considering he was about to fall asleep, and that meant that he would either wake up to an angry bird pecking sadistically (he wouldn't put it past them) at his face, or a really sore back. Neither of which he preferred.

And he still needed a hug. It would make him feel wanted, if nothing else. Not the Jiraiya type of hug, where he would grab Naruto in a head-lock and ruffle his hair. Not the concerned hug that Iruka-sensei would give him when he knew something was wrong. Not the Tsunade Baa-san hug, like a older sis (really old, he added) who was protective of her pesky younger brother. Not the friendly, bashful hug he would sometimes receive from Hinata, when she gathered enough courage to do so.

Not any of those.

He wanted it to make him feel as if he mattered to someone, that the person cared immensely for him, that he was someone the other treasured and could not lose. But he did not know what it would really feel like, he did not know what he was looking for.

He did not know. So he hung his head and dragged himself back to his 'house'. Where he had some sense of false security, nonetheless, it was still something he could hide in, be it a rubbish dump, a cardboard box, concrete walls or a grand palace. It was a house, functioning as one, served well as one. But a house could not give him a hug, it could not.

Strange, wasn't it, that he was the one who need the hug, when others needed it more. Naruto was not an idiot, one day, he would become Hokage, and then he could protect those he loved and cared for. But that was not this day. Today was the day he would put aside all pretense of strength and allow himself to just wish, for once. Today he would feel as if he was weak, and had let down everyone who knew him.

But today wasn't over, not when the sky was still up. Not until it came crashing down. Not just yet.


	2. So I won't fade away

Songfic – So I won't fade away.

Summary – They both understood each other, perfectly.

Author notes – that Naruto does not belong to her and that she does not make any economic benefit from this fanfic. Also, the song 'Le Ciel' By Malice Mizer does not belong to her either.

Author's notes – Kakashi's in this chapter, obviously, it's not beta-ed either. I'll repost it once I properly edit it. This chapter is not so much about the hug, but rather the understanding that they achieve through it. It's kind of weirdly written and it's slightly confusing at times. I hope will be about to enjoy it.

---

Today was the day. Today was the day that many things had happened, be it in the past. And he'd always face this day with regret and sorrow, although it had been many years, and even though he'd have to endure it for many more years to come. He would. For honour, not his own, but theirs. He would always be in mourning this day.

He hummed a slow song his mentor had taught him. It told of many stories, of those who had sung it, and added on to its verses with their own. It was deep and sorrowful, slow and lingering, but also soulful and uplifting, melodious and forgiving.

Every time he did this, he would tear, crystalline and perfect. Every year, on this day, he would ask for forgiveness from all those he had wronged in one way or another. Another tear. Every year, and never any answer.

His song was gentle and soft, carried by the wind, to far, far places, high, high up, where only the birds and spirits resided. His tears too, were carried away, a single drop, crystalline and perfect, and another would replace it, another tear, crystalline, perfect, unlike him.

---

On his way back, a damp draft circled him and he caught and faint whisper of a beautiful melody carried by a deep voice.

_Yasashii utagoe ni michibikarete.._.

Carried by a deep voice. Carrying him, he obliged and obediently followed it, knowing its mystery was not a harmful one. He remembered it, a song from past times, old but similarly, new in its own way. It was like the song of a mockingbird, sad and guilty. He remembered Iruka-sensei telling him, _'It's a sin to kill a mockingbird...they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us, that's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird'._ They are like people who gave selflessly and always took the fall for others, for things they never did. People who would take the blame and the guilt that should not burden them. People who would feel that they were the ones who deserved to suffer.

He kept walking, following the song that echoed in the woods. He walked until he felt as if he had entered an ethereal place or never-ending trees, as the drops of water lying on the leaves caught the sunlight from the setting sun, seven colours and the prism. And amongst it all, Naruto caught sight of a single entity of silver. _'Kakashi-sensei...'_

_Nagare ochiru masshiro na namida ga kaze ni fukare_

He lifted a finger to his damp cheek, where tears mingled, wondering when he had started to cry. He looked at his Jounin teacher, lean back facing him, head slightly hung.

'Naruto.'

'Un.' He replied slowly and hesitantly, unsure whether to take a step forward. His old sensei soon answered his question, turning around slowly to face his ex-student. His eyes widened slightly, the silver-haired Jounin's mask was down. And he saw it. They felt the same pain, and the weather mimicked their actions, as it too began to shed its own tears. Naruto took a few uncertain steps forward, unsure as to what he should do. He opened his mouth to speak...

Kakashi stepped forward, his gaze no longer upon the unoffending ground, and in one swift moment, he caught Naruto in a hug and clung onto him, as if he was desperate. It was needy, as if his ex-sensei needed someone to be there, it was thankful, thankful that Naruto had not asked 'why'.

He was startled, but his expression of shock was slowly replaced by a small smile of understanding, as he heard Kakashi's silent tears flow, felt them seeping. He lifted his own arms to return the hug. And time stopped. Just for them, to understand, to be able to smile again.

_Toki o kizamu_...

---

Kakashi had sensed his ex-student's presence, puzzled and curious.

'Naruto.' He had said, keeping his sadness, his guilt, out of his voice, allowing it to sound like his usual nonchalance. He kept his fist clenched, worried that he would allow his perilously spilling emotions to overflow. No one should be able to see him when his mask(1) was down and see him vulnerable. Only on this day, would he ever let his mask fall.

'Un.' He heard the blonde respond unnecessarily. He sighed and turned around, still feeling his ex-student's inquisitive gaze still fixed on him. He felt a shard of amusement pierce his sadness, momentarily, as he watched his student's shocked look at his mask being down.

_Boku o miru kegare o shiranai hitomi wa_

_His eyes._ Kakashi realized, Naruto's eyes reflected everything he did. When he was shocked, they would widen, when he was sad, they were downcast, when he was happy, they were bright. Naruto's eyes were fascinating. They made Kakashi remember a time in the past when people were peaceful, endlessly peaceful.

And just then, his eyes betrayed his otherwise unnoticeable shock. Then it changed, Kakashi didn't know how to describe it, but he was sure that he caught a flicker of understanding in those sky-blue depths.

Naruto had taken a few steps forward, each bringing him closer, and closer still, to Kakashi. The boy was hesitating, he knew, and knew why. What to do around a person who's showing a side of himself that he has never shown before? They both stood still for a while, and Naruto had opened his mouth the speak, presumably to break the silence, Kakashi thought.

_Hateshinaku doko made mo tsuzuku daichi o utsushi_

Kakashi did not know why he did what he did next, perhaps he had been wanting it for a while, the understanding, to be held close by a person who knew Him. He held the younger boy close, feeling him tense slightly, though not trying to escape. His tears had already begun to fall, each and everyone, similar to the last, crystalline and perfect, just like the raindrops of the sky. After a moment, he felt the hug returned, as the other placed his arms around him as well.

Through all his tears, Kakashi smiled slightly, sensing that Naruto did the same. It was their moment to share, just between them.

_I know...I understand._

After a while, he felt Naruto pull back a little, putting a pit of space between them, although they remained in their embrace. He had lifted a hand and wiped a tear off his face.

'_Sensei...you're crying._' Naruto had murmured softly, sounding a little concerned, but unsurprised by it. He had not said anything, enjoying the boy's gentle touch on his cheek. He had all but forgotten what it felt like, when was the last time someone else had touched his face, much less seen it? He had forgotten.

_Chiisana yubi de wasurete ita boku no namida no ato o nazoru_

---

'_Aah'_ Kakashi had replied as softly as he had commented. Naruto smiled at him, glad to have been able to help his sensei, although he did not know what it was about. They stood there for a while, it could have been a few seconds, a few hours, they didn't notice, they wouldn't care.

But Naruto had to leave, later that night, an extremely dangerous 'A' class mission awaited him and Neji to attend to. His duty was waiting for him, and he could not ignore it, though all he wanted to do was to remain there with Kakashi. He wanted to, and his tired body and equally heavy heart agreed with him. But his mind bade him _leave_, for he had to answer to his responsibility.

'_Sensei,_' he had muttered, pulling away from their embrace, indicating that he had to leave.

'_Not yet.'_ His voice was pleading, it was obvious that he didn't want the blonde to leave him there. Naruto sighed, but obliged, leaning his head on his ex-sensei's shoulder.

'You're taller.'

'I know.'

'Almost as tall as me.'

'Not quite.'

'Soon.'

Naruto noted that it was the same voice in the song he had heard earlier. Deep and emotional.

_Kimi no h osoku suki touru koe ga boku o hanasanai_

He had to leave, he knew he couldn't stay. But, then again, the day wasn't over yet, there still was time for them. He honestly knew that he did not want to go. This was likely to be the only shred of satisfaction he would feel, in a pool of his misery, for a long while. He was trying to leave, but hoping to stay. It would be his will that would eventually win, he knew, so he had to leave, quickly, before he could not anymore.

So he did. He pulled away firmly, and saw Kakashi's arms fall to his side. His expression clearly read _'Don't go, please'_, and Naruto just felt his resolve to leave crumble and get squished by a passing ant. And once more, they just stood there, one unsure of what to do for the second time that day, and the other unable to do anything but hope.

Naruto knew that he needed the comfort as well. That much he knew and understood. And Kakashi's presence was soothing and made him feel as if he was allowed to let down all his barriers and angst properly for once. That was all that he had wanted at that moment.

He was so caught up in his mental struggle that he unconsciously allowed his tears to slip. This time, it cascaded down his scarred cheeks with a vengeance, for all the times he had prevented himself from crying.

_Boku ga koko ni itsuzukeru koto wa dekinai no ni..._

---

_Drip._ He watched in surprise as he saw Naruto's tears fall treacherously down, betraying all the times the other had wanted to cry but would not allow himself to do so.

_Drip._ Another tear, he was sure the other did not want to leave. But Naruto's body language clearly stated that he would leave. Kakashi knew he sounded pathetic, but in that short, short, period of time, the two managed to form a bond, just between their ability to understand. It was that strong, the bond of understanding. It can take two enemies, or two strangers and push them together. It's universal, and it does not jump on pre-assumptions.

_Drip._ _'Naruto,' a_nd Naruto looked Kakashi in the eye, as if hearing him, _'your overflowing tears are your parting words...'_

_Ah...kobore ochiru namida wa owakare no kotoba_

---

Kakashi's silent consent was enough for Naruto, the other was letting him go, though they both did not want it to leave. No words would be exchanged anymore on that day. The Silver-haired Shinobi would stay for a while more, until the day ended. The other had to leave. It was as simple as that.

Naruto understood Kakashi's pain because he _dared_ to see it, it was there for all to see, but only those who chose to be able to.

Kakashi's hand settled on his shoulder gently. It was reassuring, if he returned safely that night, he would still be around.

He could see the older man struggle to smile a little, but his facial muscles would not cooperate then. He had not the heart to smile at the moment. He bade Naruto goodbye by taking his hand off the other's shoulder, giving him a slight nod and stepping back.

Naruto returned the nod, and left, Neji was probably already pacing outside his apartment.

_Nani mo kikazu, tada boku no mune ni te o ate hohoemi o ukabe_

---

On that day, the two of them managed to find unspoken solace and comfort in one another. It was not something between to lovers, but simply between two people who could understand each other's feelings. Two people who always hid behind masks, unwilling to show their pain and angst-ridden side. Their masks served them well, but between the two of them, they were useless. Around each other, all masks fell off. These masks, they fit so well, it could only fit them. It hardly was a pretense anymore.

_Kimi no hoho ni kuchizuke o...boku wa kimi o wasurenai_

Their hug was an example. Naruto needed a hug, Kakashi gave him one. Kakashi needed a hug, Naruto obliged. Naruto had given understanding in that hug, Kakashi taken it. Kakashi had provided comfort for Naruto, Naruto accepted it. It was not what they would do in usual circumstances. On any other day, Naruto would have been bantering with his fellow Jounin about a certain mission or another. On any other day, Kakashi would have whacked his ex-student for being rude to him. But not on this day, on this day, they would put aside all pretenses. It wasn't about getting rid of the pain, it was about being able to hold it in your hear and know that there was another person out there who could comprehend your feelings.

_Moto tsuyoku dakishimete boku ga sora ni kaeru made_

_I know..._

That was more than enough to explain it. They both understood perfectly, that was that. It was their one day of sharing. It would enable them to keep sane, from all the worldly pressures that they faced and would continue to face.

_I understand..._

_You do, but no one else does._

_No they don't, do they._

_No they don't. _

_Kimi no hosoku suki touru koe ga boku o hanasanai_

Because nobody else understood, all the more they remained by themselves. It's like a Mockingbird. The mystery that is their identity serves nothing but to cause them to be ignored and hated. And when that happened, you would only see the layer on top, and not what lies beneath. In the world of 'action-before-thought' they only had themselves to rely upon not to slip up. When they found another like them, they held on.

_Motto tsuyoku dakishimete_

---

Perhaps...it wasn't quite that painful anymore, Kakashi mused. Naruto had long gone, leaving him to sit alone in the forest to contemplate. He could learn to accept it. He wanted to stop forcing himself to hate himself. Yes...Not that painful anymore, now that he had someone to help him.

He had the time. The Sky was still up.

_boku ga kienai you ni..._

---

Motivation coursed through his veins freely again. He was smiling freely once more. Naruto grinned in amusement behind his mask, feeling uncharacteristically giggly. This caused Neji to look strangely at the person who had been in a horrendous mood earlier in the night. _'Woops, Neji had Byakugan.'_ He smiled in amusement, he could go on, he knew he could, and would continue to advance.

He had the time. The Sky was still up.

---

As he returned home, un-injured from the mission, he was smiling, albeit too brightly. His hand reached up unconsciously to touch his own shoulder, and he noted absently that he had gotten the hug that he had wanted to much.

_'He understands me and I understand him. And we would stand there, together, till the sky fades away. Till the sky fades away..._

_--- _

_(1) _This is both literally and figuratively, Kakashi does have his mask down.

-Fin-


End file.
